Thursday, October 30, 2008

CALLING ALL SMUG MARRIEDS

This Sunday I am teaching a lesson to all the young women about marriage standards, and setting your standards while still dating etc. So all you fabulously smug married women, whether you still are a newlywed or have past your silver anniversary, I need you to think back to your singleton days; what advice would you give other young women regarding dating/courtship on the road to finding your spouse? The advice can be serious, spiritual and even funny as long as it's true. Accompany stories, particularly the humorous kind as I don't want to be a boring teacher, are welcome as well. As always thanks for your help.

(So as not to be prejudice, if your husbands wish to offer some insights as well by all means their advice is welcome too)

Addendum:
In response to a comment I recieved regarding the title of this post, it is from a movie, a very funny movie at that and one of my favorites. I am not sure I want to be friends with people that don't have a sense of humor, but since they didn't leave their name all I can say is maybe YOU(whoever you are) should brush up on your movie quotes and get a sense of humor before you tell people to use a dictionary!

2 comments:

Penny said...

Ooo this should be interesting!

Umm... my advice would be:
Keep an open mind about prospective partners. I honestly wouldn't have "picked" DH as the person for me but a couple of things happened that opened my mind. Firstly, I did pray about it, that God would bring someone across my path and secondly as a result of that I decided to give any prospective guys at least 1 chance. So when DH called out of the blue (see my blog for the story), I was entirely surprised but said yes, I'd go to dinner. Things led on from there..

The other thing that has helped me is learning acceptance of another person's foibles. There are things about him that could easily annoy me but I've learned to let them go and consequently love has grown. Our marriage celebrant told us that there will be times when we just need to think, "It's not what I would do, but it's not wrong, it's just different." That has helped to smooth things along for me.

True we've had some barneys but learning to forgive, standing by your commitment and letting things (that don't really matter) go helps. Obviously, the latter is going to differ from person to person. But you have to be honest with yourself - if he folds the towels differently, will it matter in 100 years? No! And at least he's doing some laundry!!

Oh - and Ilike this quote from the Mindset book I read recently:

A no-effort relationship is a doomed relationship. It takes work to communicate accurately and it takes work to expose and resolve conflicting hopes and beliefs. It doesn’t mean there is no “they lived happily ever after”, but it’s more like “they worked happily ever after.”

Anonymous said...

hmmmm this may require some thinking. Some advice I was given which I would repeat as a mantra was " you kiss a lot of frogs before you meet your prince charming" I meet my prince at the age of 35. I learnt that when it feels right ( the relationship with your prince) you can't always describe it in words, its a feeling and it just feels right. I knew I had found the one when I didn't play emotional games to get what I want. I am embarrassed to say this but I did play emotional games in previous relationships, thats why they are exes. One helpful book that I would highly recommend is "The Five Love languages" my husband and I read the book and did the wee test and discovered what each others love languages were and we both try and incorporate the others languages into what we do for each other, ensuring our tanks are full. I love my husband and he was worth the wait, I knew when I meet him after a few dates he was the one,I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We compliment each other in our outlooks on life and personalities and he has made me a better person. I could go on...