CRAZY BABY TOUCHERS

Ok, when I first got pregnant everyone warned me about how total strangers would feel it their right to counsel me on how I should care for myself and my unborn baby. They even warned of strangers touching my belly without asking. However I managed to get through all of my 41 weeks ( I was a week late ) of pregnancy without a single stray hand touching me that I did not welcome. And no unsolicited advice either.
Oh how the times have changed. Apparently I am making up for my intrusive-free pregnancy by running into every child rearing "expert" I can while out and about with my baby boy. Do these people really think I am listening to them? It's not really the advice that bothers me, honestly I could care less how people think I should raise my child. I am pretty good at brushing off other's opinions when I am not seeking them. However, I can not get past the fact that there are people out there who think it is perfectly okay to touch a strangers baby!!!! Are they kidding me? HANDS OFF MY BABY!!!!! For instance, the other day I went to Target. Baby boy was happily snuggled in the Baby Bjorn and I was talking to my husband on the cell phone while trying on shoes. An old lady approached me, you would think that fact that I was on the phone, trying on shoes, and holding my baby's hand all at the same time would signal to her that I am not really in the position to chat but apparently not. She proceeds to talk to me, telling me how un-hygenic it is to try on shoes with out socks. Uh-huh sure whatever, true but honestly do you always have the little nylons handy when you are trying on shoes. But here is where it crossed the line to the are-you-freaking-kidding-me side. Just after she finishes telling me how un-hygenic it is to try on shoes sockless, she grabs my baby's hand and as if that isn't bad enough she starts to kiss it!!!! WHAT THE &$%#!!! Now remember I am still standing there a-la Cinderella with one shoe on and a cell phone up to my ear, all I can see are images of beating this woman over the head with the cute Mary Jane I have just tried on. Obviously realizing that beating an elderly person with a shoe would not be the best idea I have had, I drop the shoe, stuff my foot as far as I can into my own shoe while simultaneously pulling my baby's hand away from this woman and making a hasty exit around the corner all the while my husband oblivious to my situation is waiting for an answer regarding reservations for an upcoming trip.
As soon as I thought I had made a far enough retreat, I let loose to my husband about the craziness I have just experienced while also applying some hand gel to my baby's hand and holding it away from his mouth while it dries. Good husband that he is he lamented with me about the absurdity of the woman's actions. Now common sense would tell you that if you are concerned with germs on your feet wouldn't you be aware of germs from your mouth and hands? But apparently this woman though concerned for the safety of my feet had no such concern for the health of my baby! My feet thank you, my baby does NOT.
Unfotunately this was not my last encounter with what I call a crazy-baby-toucher, people who can't resist the urge to touch and coo at strangers babies. Please coo away but DON'T TOUCH. I have found a way to deal with the problem however. While at Costco there was a couple with triplets, you know they have had their fair share of crazy-baby-touchers, but alas no more. They had these great little signs sitting above each baby in the triple stroller. You can find them at http://www.healthylittleones.com/ and thanks to them I am ordering one now and hopefully can avoid any future run-ins with the crazy-baby-touchers. And don't worry about my feet either, I will be sure to stick a pair of socks in the diaper bag in case I feel the urge to try on shoes.